“I was wearing capris and a tie dye t-shirt. Two guys in my class sexually assaulted me on a school trip. They were laughing and saying how they were going to do me a favor and “cure” me of being a Lez. I guess I was in shock. I couldn’t move. I just couldn’t believe what was happening. I thought I could forget if I just didn’t talk about it but you don’t forget. How can you forget someone laughing at your pain like that?”

“My cousin was molested by his Baseball Coach when he was 9 years old. My aunt found out but was so scared of what my uncle would do if he found out, she made him promise not to tell anybody. He was so ashamed, he kept his promise years after both his parents passed. He was in his 60’s when he finally told me about it, and we were close. We lost him to Covid in 2020 and I’m sharing this because people need to know victims blame themselves and hang onto that shame when it was never their fault.”

“Shorts and a t-shirt. Was drunk/high and incoherent. Was falling asleep and asked him to stop. He didn’t. Told my BF a month later and was excessively shamed for “putting myself in the situation.” Didn’t realize it was sexual assault until about a month ago. This happened in 2013.”

“We’d been dating a few months. I wasn’t ready to have sex, and I told him that straight up. He said he’s respect that, but he constantly pushed my boundaries. I was taught that “boys will be boys” and that it’s the girls’ responsibility to keep them in line by dressing modestly and holding high standards, so I didn’t recognize his forcefulness, coercion, and manipulation as abuse. In fact, I spent years believing everything was my fault. It was a Sunday and my dress was modest and pretty, with a floral pattern. I thought that “rapists” were scary older men, strangers who took advantage of vulnerable grils in sketchy bars or dark alleys…I never though my handsome, popular, charming boyfriend would be the one to rape me.”

“I was out to meet someone else. My “friend” recommended he talk to me. He ordered me multiple doubles while I stood at the bar — past the point where I should have been cut off — he told the bartender to add more (extra) to make it a heavy pour. Later, I somehow had to console him. I told him why it was wrong and harmful the next day. This is the dress I once felt so pretty and free in.”

“I was wearing pajama (long) pants and a big jacket. My boyfriend who I’ve dated for 4 years decided to get drunk one night. Every night we take my dog for a walk. But that night when he was drunk, he tied my dog behind a tree and raped me behind a parking lot.”

“I was remodeling a new home I had just purchased. I’d been painting all day in an oversized green t-shirt and brown shorts. The man I’d hired to install counter tops had been making inappropriate comments like “my wife doesn’t give me sex” throughout the day. Those comments made me uncomfortable so when he finished, I paid him and asked him to leave. He wouldn’t leave. He begged me for “just a kiss.” I had no desire to kiss him but he was physically blocking the doorway and he kept asking and saying he would leave after “one kiss.” He was a lot bigger and stronger than me so I thought I had no choice. I let him kiss me and he immediately threw me to the floor and raped me. He left and I stayed there on the floor and cried. I never reported it because I felt shame for “letting” him kiss me.” 

“I was wearing jeans and a t-shirt. He never even asked, he just thought I was his for the taking.”

“When I was eight, my Mother told me I was the reason she divorced my Father and we never saw him again. I didn’t understand and she wouldn’t say any more about it. Nobody ever talked about my Dad. People didn’t talk about a lot of things then. It was when I was married and had my own little girl that I remembered. He would come in and touch me, hurt me and then he cried with me. He did. He cried. The pillow was still damp in the morning. I would have been wearing a long night dress.”

“I’d been sleeping in my Dad’s holey, old grey sweat pants and t-shirt since he passed away. I felt so safe, so close to him. After a year, lots of his friends came to visit for a Celebration of Life party. His best friend kept hugging on me and telling me how beautiful I was. That night he got into my bed and raped me.” 

“When I was sexually assaulted I was wearing a red (men’s cut) Dr. Pepper t-shirt, Dark denim capris (went mid calf), brown leather sandals and a beaded necklace. I went on a date with a co-worker and when we got to our destination he started grabbing at me. He then exposed himself to me. I kept telling him “No! I don’t want to … I am scared.” But he grabbed onto my neck and forced my head towards his genitals. I felt like I couldn’t get away.” 

“What I was wearing: It was night time on a hot summer night. But I still get cold easily and wanted to be comfortable so I wore the softest outfit I could find and I was not worried about my appearance at all. I wore grey sweatpants, not cute ones either, just baggy sweatpants. I also wore a simple black zip up jacket with a sports bra underneath.”  

“We met online, skyped a few times even before we met in person. I was so careful about meeting up in a public place. He was really nice; until he wasn’t. He wouldn’t listen and he wouldn’t stop. The nurse at the ER wanted what I was wearing. Jeans, red Dixie t-shirt, blue hoodie, my underwear and bra…I didn’t want to see any of it again. I thought I could just not think about it and forget but it doesn’t work like that.” 

“My dad raped me at 9:00 in the morning. I was wearing my pink pajama shorts and t-shirt. A rapist isn’t just a stranger — it could be anyone, your dad, your uncle, your husband…”

“I was wearing a solid black, flowy shirt that had slits up the side that stopped at ribs. Light wash denim shorts that were high-wasted. With a navy-blue bikini underneath. I was at a pool kick back and a guy I was acquainted with from school was there. I had been drinking, enough to be intoxicated. I began to cry and lost my denim shorts I took off for hot-tubbing. He took me into a room to help me look for them, but I started feeling sick and laid down on a bed. He started trying to take advantage, I kept saying no but wouldn’t stop; he raped me.”  

“When I was raped, I was a sophomore in high school. I was wearing light blue denim capri pants, a black t-shirt with a logo on it, white converse tennis shoes with grey socks, no jewelry, and a navy striped sports bra which I later destroyed.” 

“I was wearing a long, groovy orange print Dashiki. It was 1972 and I was a college freshman, living in the dorms. I hired my roommate’s boyfriend to be my Attendant. After bringing me dinner one night, he raped me. Before he left, he threatened me if I told anyone. I was so terrified I didn’t tell my roommate or even stop payment on the check I had paid him for that week’s work. I moved out the next day. I missed a lot of classes, came really close to quitting school altogether.”   

“I joined the army because I wanted to follow in my grandpa’s footsteps. Four weeks into Basic Training though, I was jumped and raped by four other men. I had trusted these fellow soldiers and they betrayed that trust. I spent 14 days in the hospital following the assault. Although I was honorably discharged, I am damaged for the rest of my life. Since then, I was rated 70% permanently and totally disabled by the Dept. of Veterans Affairs. This is what I was wearing but the shame from that night I’ll wear forever.”